What is kindness?

Taken from The 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life Up Close (2007)

Kindness says: “I want you to be happy.” To be kind means to be friendly, caring, generous, benevolent, considerate, respectful, fair and affectionate. We all know in our hearts when we have received or offered kindness because of the warm feeling it brings.

If we act in a kind way, it may seem that we are putting someone else’s happiness ahead of ours, but in practice it doesn’t work that way. Being kind invariably feels good, lifts our spirtits and nourishes us in ways that we don’t always acknowledge. Everyone benefits.

How can kindness lead to happiness?

Taken from The 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life Up Close (2007)

At its most basic level, kindness is indispensable to the survival of living beings. From the very moment of our birth, we are dependent on the kindness of others. Later in life, we remain dependent o n the kindness of countless other beings for our food, shelter, clothing and medicine.

Many things can get in the way of kindness. It could be insecurity – the fear that someone will discover how little we know and how unsure we really are of ourselves. Or distraction – when we’re so busy running from one place to another that there’s no time for anyone else. Or judgment – making decisions about what will be best for someone else, instead of listening.

It’s relatively easy to be kind to the people who we like, and who are kind to us. If we want to really make a difference in the world, we need the capacity to be kind ot people beyond our comfort zone. To be polite to someone who is rude. To be helpful to someone who is unapprpreciative. To offer a gift to someone who rejects us.

The tiny moments of satisfaction that come from caring for someone else, and wanting them to be happy, can carry us through today, this year, this lifetime.

For most, to be kind on a daily basis is something that takes effort. Gradually we can stretch our ability to be kind, until it becomes a habit.

It can be tempting to be casual about kindness. To treat it as a side issue of no real consequence. Yet here under our noses may be the whole secret to living a happy life. Cultivating the capacity to do something kind, which helps someone else feel happy, is often the most simple and straightforward route to our own happiness.

Why be kind?

You may think you are powerless to make a real difference in the world but think again! We can all change the world, one act a time. Kindness is all it takes.

Kind people generally have more harmonious family lives, deeper friendships, more fun and better physical health. Kindness can be a powerful antidote to depression and low self-esteem because of its ability to take us out of our self-absorption and to strengthen our connections with others.

Kind things to do:

• When mowing the nature strip, mow the neighbour’s strip as well
• Donate blood, and encourage others to do so
• If you have any surplus books in good condition, consider offering them to your local library or a senior citizen’s centre
• Tell someone you love and appreciate them – and do it often.
• Avoid negative self-talk – be kind to yourself
• Give surplus clothing, toys etc. to charities.
• In any disagreement, always act fairly.
• Promote kindness wherever you go.
• Go to the assistance of anyone who appears to be in trouble - the person who doesn’t seem to have a coin for the parking meter; someone who looks lost; a shopper who can’t reach an item on a high shelf; a driver who might need to be guided into a parking spot; someone who is carrying a heavy parcel.
• If you know someone who is having a hard time financially, pop a $5, $10 or $20 note in an envelope, disguise your writing or type the envelope, and post it to them.
• Give a work colleague a kind word, a small gift, or make them a cup of coffee. Feed an expired parking meter if there is a parking officer in the vicinity.
• If the person behind you in the shopping queue only has a few items, consider asking them if they would like to go ahead of you.
• Volunteer for some community work.
• Donate magazines/literature to medical services, aged care facilities, schools or kindergartens.
• Clean someone’s home.
• Enter someone in a competition – they may win a prize!
• If someone has a dog, and the person is temporarily incapacitated due to an illness or injury, offer to take the dog for a walk.
• Visit local aged care facilities and become a voluntary companion for a lonely patient.
• Take your neighbour’s washing off the line if it’s raining and they are not home, or put out/take in the rubbish bin/recycling box.
• When travelling on public transport, offer your seat to someone. Pay the toll of the motorist behind you.
• Stop to assist somebody who’s had an accident or broken down.
• If there is a senior living nearby, call in from time to tome and ask if everything is OK.
• Express kindness to those who are healing. Leave a stuffed animal for a child in a hospital.
• Practice kindness towards the environment. Participate in beach or park cleanups, recycle, plant a tree or install a water tank.

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